Padawan Rejects
by Padawan Rejects
Summary: Four padawans- Si'Tri, Erra, Sansi and Taysh- have been rejected by their previous masters. But by some twist of fate (fanfiction), Obi-Wan has agreed to train them. Soon to be released as a radio play!
1. Episode 1 - That Wild Shirt

EPISODE 1 - That Wild Shirt  
  
Sansi: *to Taysh* Like, where did you get that wild shirt?  
  
Taysh: What shirt? *looks around*  
  
Sansi: Well duh, the one you're wearing! (sounds scratchy....)  
  
Taysh: Am I wearing one? *looks*  
  
Sansi: I should hope so!  
  
Taysh: Oh! I AM wearing a shirt! What did you ask again?  
  
Sansi: Never mind. So what's your name?  
  
Taysh: Whose name?  
  
Sansi: Jeez, are you being stupid on purpose?  
  
Taysh: Who?  
  
Sansi: YOU!  
  
Taysh: Oh, why didn't you say so? Gettin' all rude! I'm Taysh'Ara Kithe. I have a pet! His name is Fluffy! I like cheese!  
  
Sansi: Ooookaay. Well anyways, I'm San'Si Taneau.  
  
Taysh: Why?  
  
Sansi: Because I am!  
  
Taysh: Do you like cheese?  
  
Sansi: I like boys! They are sooooo cute! There's My'kal, and Ja'rew, and Tam'tu, and... (FADE OUT)  
  
*****  
  
Si'Tri Meo: Greetings and felicitations.   
  
Erra Si Roughe: Hi.  
  
Si'Tri Meo: My moniker is Si'Tri Meo.  
  
Erra Si Roughe: And??  
  
Si'Tri: And what do they call you?  
  
Erra Si: Erra Si Roughe.  
  
Si'Tri: So have you ever been to the Jedi Temple before?  
  
Erra Si: Yeah.  
  
Si'Tri: Well this is my first time. I think it is incredible! The architecture is astounding!  
  
Erra Si: Uh.. yeah.  
  
Si'Tri: Have you met the other Padawans?  
  
Erra Si: Yeah they're weird. *looks at Taysh* Like her.  
  
Si'Tri: When you say weird, what do you mean? Do you mean strange or crazy, or outlandish?  
  
Erra Si: It's weird.  
  
Si'Tri: I can see you don't understand basic distinctly. Obviously it's not your native language.  
  
Erra Si: You got a problem with that?  
  
Si'Tri: Well no, that's quite alright. I think I'll go say hello to the others.  
  
*****  
  
Si'Tri: Greetings! I am Si'Tri Meo, And this is Erra Si Rohghe.  
  
San Si: HI! I'm San Si Taneau.  
  
Taysh: Where's the button?  
  
Si'Tri: What button?  
  
Taysh: Shhh.. he might hear you!  
  
Sansi: *looks at Erra* "So where are you from?"  
  
Erra: "Kamino."  
  
Taysh: "Kamino? Delicious!"  
  
Si'Tri: "How fascinating! I've read about Kamino, Madame Jocasta Nu has just restored the file to the Jedi Archives. Did you know that Kamino has never recovered from global warming that liquefied colossal layers of inland continental ice? It caused its oceans to proliferate, covering the landmasses, forcing the native Kaminoans to adapt. The cities are still constructed to echo their former land colonies, but are now built elevated above the oceanic surface of the world, to withstand the ceaseless storms that buffet the planet."  
  
Sansi: *looks confused* "Oh."  
  
Erra: mmhhmm...  
  
Sansi: * looks at SR* "So what did you do on Kamino?"  
  
Erra: "I worked in the command center of the cloning sector, organizing transports for the Army of the Republic."  
  
Si'Tri: "The Kaminoans are reputed to be the best cloners in the galaxy. They possess a scientific cunning that allows them to excel in the genetic manipulation of numerous species."  
  
Sansi: *Looks at SR* "So you know how to clone people?"  
  
Erra: "No..."  
  
Si'Tri: *cuts in* "The Kaminoans are not humanoid beings, likened to Erra, they are a tall, slender species with glassy eyes, elongated necks, and pale skin. The males of their species often have prominent head-fins, a throwback to their evolutionary roots found in the oceans of Kamino."  
  
Sansi:*Looks confused* "Oh."  
  
Taysh: "I had a head-fin once."  
  
***** Sansi: Did you guys see that Anakin Skywalker? He is SO hot!  
  
Erra: Naw, his master, Obi-Wan, is just more rockin'  
  
Taysh: Obi-Wan Kenobi... Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time... a long time   
  
Si'Tri: I think I'm going to go read my dictionary now. Narrator: Si'Tri Promptly walked away and sat down on the floor, immersing herself in the world of nouns, adjectives and specialist syllables. The others blinked and continued talking. Sansi: Obi-Wan?! But he's SO old.  
  
Erra: I like the way he talks. (too quiet)  
  
Taysh: Liking the way Yoda talks, do I.  
  
Sansi: Who cares how they talk? It's how they LOOK.  
  
Taysh: One time I looked at a fish!  
  
Erra/Sansi: A fish?  
  
Taysh: It was pretty. I put it on my head. Narrator: Trying to avoid buttons, fish, head fins or anything of the like, Erra decided to move the dialogue to another topic. Erra: So what do you think of that Si'Tri Meo girl?  
  
Sansi: Like, she is SO weird.  
  
Taysh: She has books with lots of letters in them.  
  
Erra: Anybody who reads a dictionary for fun should be sent to an asylum.  
  
Sansi: Totally.  
  
Taysh: Are asylums good to eat?  
  
Erra: Shut up.  
  
Taysh: Shut what?  
  
Sansi: Your mouth!  
  
Taysh: It doesn't go up!  
  
Erra: What if I MAKE it go up?  
  
Taysh: Do you think Yoda's ears are crunchy?  
  
Sansi: Maybe YOU'RE the one that should go to an asylum.  
  
Taysh: I thought that was food!  
  
Sansi: So ANYWAY, Si'Tri is really wack.  
  
Taysh: Wack a mole, wack a mole, wack a mole....  
  
SFX: Lightsabre  
  
Erra: I TOLD you to SHUT UP. 


	2. Episode 2 - Flavoured Sabers

EPISODE 2 - Flavoured Sabres  
SFX: Lightsabre hum  
Taysh: Ooooo pretty! Is it blue flavoured?  
Erra: I'm gonna chop your head off!  
Taysh: Will it bounce?  
Sansi: EWWW! That's so gross! Erra, put your lightsabre away right now! Violence is never the answer!  
Erra: Says who?  
Taysh: One time, A was the answer on a test I took!  
SFX: Door opens (Obi enters)  
SFX: Lightsabre off (quickly)  
Erra: *hums innocently*  
Taysh: It's OBIKINS! YAY! I wanna hug! Gimme a hug OBIKINS!  
SFX: Running steps  
Obi: Uhm... Hello again, Taysh. OOF! *Taysh jumps and hugs him*  
SFX: Footsteps  
Si'Tri: Greetings and felicitations! I presume you are Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. What a pleasure to meet you. I am Si'Tri Meo.  
Obi: *trying to get Tasyh off* Taysh.. I... Can't... breathe... *gasp for air* Thank you, Taysh. Nice to meet you, Si'Tri.  
Sansi: Like, hi. I'm Sansi Taneau. Is Anakin around anywhere?  
Obi: Anakin? He's away on a mission.  
Sansi: *depressed* Oh...  
Obi: Hello, Erra.  
Erra: Hi...  
Si'Tri: Oh, you two have made an acquaintance?  
Taysh: Well I know him too! He's my bestest friend! We like to play tea party!  
Obi: I don't recall ever--  
Taysh: And one time we got Mace Windu to come over and we all dressed up as pretty princesses and saved the handsome prince Yoda from the evil Jedi Council!  
Erra: Kenobi, this girl is a freak. We should ditch her.  
Obi: Erra, that is not--  
Taysh: OOOooOOoo What flavour is this one?  
Obi: Taysh, give me back my lightsabre!  
Taysh: I wanna see what flavour it is!  
Obi: Do NOT eat my lightsabre!  
Erra: See? This is what I'm talking about! How did a girl like her ever get accepted?  
Obi: *talking to her like she's a little kid* Taysh... give me the lightsabre. No, don't look into it... No, TAYSH, do not turn it on while you're looking in it!

*****

Obi: Alright, now that I have possession of my lightsabre again, I will show you your room.  
Sansi: Our ROOM? As in we don't have our own separate rooms?  
Erra: You mean I have to sleep with THEM?  
Obi: Yes, you will all be sharing a room.  
Taysh: Sleepover! Sleepover! Sleepover!  
Sansi: Hey, you're right! We can totally stay up all night and play Truth or Dare, and do each other's hair, and talk about Anakin!  
Obi: You will not be staying up all night, as our training begins first thing in the morning.  
Si'Tri: Fantastic! I personally think we should get to bed as early as possible. Coruscant's days are considerably shorter than those of other planets.  
Taysh: Taysh is HUNGRY! Taysh needs food now!  
Obi: Have none of you eaten?  
Taysh: I ate before! But not for a while! But I remember when I was little and my mommy made me eat icky stuff and--  
SFX: slap  
Taysh: OW! Erra! Don't hit Taysh!  
Obi: Erra, do not treat your fellow padawans in such a manner.  
Erra: Whatever.  
Sansi: I'm totally starving too! Can Anakin come over and have dinner with us?  
Obi: I'm afraid Anakin is still on the same mission he was when you asked where he was ten minutes ago.  
Sansi: *depressed* Oh...  
Obi: If you are all hungry, we can order out. I have a few menus from local restaurants. Now, if we can continue what we were doing, I'll show you your room.  
Taysh: Gimme menus! I wanna seeeeeeeeeeee!  
Obi: Not now, Taysh. I'm showing you your room.  
Taysh: Is it pink?  
Erra: Better not be.  
Obi: No, it's not pink.  
Sansi: *depressed* Oh...  
Si'Tri: I'm sure the room will be perfectly adequate for our needs.

*****

SFX: Door opens  
Obi: And here is your room.  
Sansi: It's SO boring!  
Taysh: I get the bed by the window!  
Si'Tri: All the beds are by windows.  
Taysh: Goodie! I get them all!  
Erra: I don't think so.  
Sansi: Where am I going to put all my guys?  
Obi: *worried* What guys?  
Sansi: Like, my posters, duh!  
Obi: Oh... Well, here are the menus, decide what you want for dinner and call me on the comlink... it connects to the one in my room, across the hall.  
Taysh: Comlink? Delicious!  
Obi: (walking out door) No, Taysh. Not delicious. Yucky.  
Taysh: Oh...  
SFX: Door close  
Si'Tri: So what would you all like for dinner? I personally think we should order from the Sullisten Garden.  
Erra: I hate Sullisten food.  
Sansi: I like Sullisten food though! It's totally good!  
Taysh: But some of it burns my mouth! Then I catch on fire!  
Si'Tri: Well, that's two votes for it and two votes against it then... What about ordering from the Calamarian Grill?  
Taysh: TAYSH WILL BURN UP! NONO!  
Erra: I don't like spicy stuff.  
Sansi: You two don't like anything! Let me see those menus... How about... Kaminoen? Oh, gross. Nevermind.  
Erra: I LIKE Kaminoen.  
Si'Tri: I'd rather not...  
Taysh: Fishies! They are not for eating! They are my friends!  
Si'Tri: Well scratch that idea.  
Erra: You people are so picky.  
Sansi: Whatever! Like, how about getting food from the Iradonian Café?  
Si'Tri: That sounds most enjoyable.  
Erra: If I have to.  
Taysh: DELICIOUS!

*****

Taysh: I wanna push the button! Please lemme push it! PLEASE!  
Si'Tri: Alright, Taysh. You may press the button.  
Taysh: YAY!  
SFX: Beep and static  
Obi: Yes? Have you made a decision?  
Taysh: They were trying to make me catch on fire! It was hot! NOOOO hot hot burning owww! And then making me eat fishies! NOT MY FRIENDS! And Taysh said no and then they said things and now delicious!  
Obi: I see.  
Erra: Kenobi, we have decided to order form the Iradonian Café.  
Obi: Oh... Actually their food is not very good...  
Si'Tri: Ahh!  
Obi: What was that?  
Sansi: Just Si'Tri...  
Obi: Oh... Well what about the Calamarian Grill? They have good food.  
Taysh: OBI WANTS ME TO BURN UP TOO! *cries*  
Obi: Or not...  
Si'Tri: Why don't we order from two restaurants? Taysh and Erra can have Iradonian and Sansi, Master Obi-Wan, and I can have Calamarian.  
Obi: Excellent compromise, my padawan.  
Si'Tri: Why thank you.  
*comlink beeps off*  
Si'Tri: While Obi Wan is ordering our food, we should start unpacking.  
Taysh: But I'm already out of my suitcase!  
Erra: She means our stuff.  
Sansi: I'm going to put up my Anakin posters!  
Taysh: Lemme seee! Lemme seee! Lemme seee!  
San: Ok here's Anakin and that Amidala person... but as you can see I cut her head off and pasted mine on over the top.  
Taysh: Really? One time I cut my head off!  
Erra: Why don't you do it again?  
Sansi: Here's Anakin with Darth Vader in the background for some reason.  
Taysh: Darth Who?  
Si'Tri: Remember your timeline guys.  
San: Oops sorry! Oh look! Here's Anakin standing facing north. Here's Anakin standing facing east. Anakin standing facing south. And Anakin standing facing west. OOO this is my favorite one! Anakin sleeping!! Isn't he adorable?! Here's Anakin eating, and drinking... and here's him combing his hair.  
Erra: Yeah I bet he does that a lot. Likes his hair.  
Sansi: Oh and here's Anakin with Obi Wan.  
Erra: Lemme see.  
San: Um ok. Don't bend it.  
Taysh: One time somebody told me to get bent.  
Si'Tri: That's not proper grammar! The correct phraseology would be. 'Once, someone told me to be become bent'  
Taysh: You mean like a hologram?  
Si'Tri: No. Grammar. The way in which you phrase your words, your sentence structure.  
San: Erra? Can I like please have my poster back?  
Erra: No. It's mine now. And any others that have Obi-Wan in them.


	3. Episode 3 - Macie/ADisturbance in the Fo...

Episode 3 - Macie / Disturbance in the Force

  
Mace: So, Obi-Wan, what do you call this method of training your padawans?  
Obi: We were... Uh.. testing each other's reactions... by uh.. throwing food...  
Mace: Very interesting. I believe Master Yoda wishes to speak with you.  
Taysh: *sing- song* Obi-Wan's in trouble!  
Erra: It wasn't Kenobi's fault, Windu. Taysh started the fight. She's totally uncontrollable!  
Taysh: But you didn't let me eat your food!  
Erra: See what I mean?  
Taysh: Macie, do you wanna play pretty princesses again?  
Mace: I... Must be leaving now.  
Taysh: You're no fun, Macie! Remember that time we saved the handsome prince Yoda from the clutches of the EVIL Jedi Council?  
Mace: I don't recall... EVER do anything of that nature.  
Taysh: Liar!  
Si'Tri: TAYSH! You should respect your elders!  
Sansi: Isn't elder just like, a nice way of saying OLD?  
Mace: In any case, Obi-Wan, you are to report with your padawans to Yoda immediately.  
Sansi: But, like, I'm NOT going out like this! I need to wash my hair and repaint my nails!  
Mace: Immediately.  
Taysh: Will you carry me?  
Obi: Taysh, you are perfectly capable of walking on your own.  
Narrator: Taysh dramatically collapsed to the floor.  
Taysh: *falls on floor* Owww! My leg is broken!  
Erra: You see, Windu? See what I have to put up with?!  
Mace: Yes, Erra. Taysh, you may ride on my back.  
Taysh: Wheeeeeeee! *runs and jumps on him*  
*footsteps with cane* *door opens*  
Yoda: Sensed a disturbance in the force, did I.  
Obi: We were just... having a food fight.  
Yoda: A Jedi Master you are, Obi-Wan. Little know you about training padawan.  
Obi: But Anakin turned out alright.  
Yoda: *Laughs*  
Obi: What?!  
Yoda: Nothing, mmm....nothing.  
San: Anakin is hardly nothing!  
Erra: Well, compared to Obi---*cough* Never mind.  
Taysh: Were you gonna say Boba Fett? He's one of my bestest friends!  
Yoda: Padawans, been here not even six hours, and already created chaos have you.  
Erra: No kidding.  
Taysh: Thank you! It's my job!  
Erra: I request that these other padawans be transferred to different masters. They are making it hard for me to uh... train.  
Taysh: But I love Obikins!  
Erra: So do I, that's not the point.  
Obi: What?  
Erra: Uh.. Nothing, Kenobi.  
Yoda: Cooperation important to a Jedi is. Learn it, you must. Clean the temple you will.  
Sansi: Like the WHOLE thing?  
Yoda: From bottom to top, you will clean. Tomorrow you will work.. Yes.. mmmm.

*****

*brush cleaning sounds*  
Sansi: I can't believe I'm like doing this! Scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees with my toothbrush! This is totally gonna mess up my nails!  
Si'Tri: You know, this water reminds me of what I've read about Kamino, Madame Jocasta Nu has just restored the file to the Jedi Archives. Did you know that Kamino has never recovered from global warming that liquefied colossal layers of inland continental ice? It caused its oceans to proliferate--  
Erra: We KNOW! You've told us already.  
Si'Tri: Well I wanted to remind you.  
Erra: I lived there okay. I know.  
Sansi: *gasp* I broke a nail!  
Taysh: I nailed myself to Slave I, but Boba Fett said 'No Taysh, you cannot come with me.' So I cried. I love Boba Fett!  
San: I love Anakin. He's Soooooooooooooo hot! But he'll never like me with a broken nail! I like better go find a nail file!  
*footsteps*  
Erra: Taysh, you're supposed to be using your toothbrush. That is NOT a toothbrush.  
Si'Tri: Well, technically, the definition of a toothbrush is a small brush that is used for cleaning the teeth.  
Erra: That brush is NOT small, and I highly doubt she uses it to clean her teeth!  
Taysh: But I DO use it to clean my teeth! And my boots, and my Boba Fett plushie, and the bathroom, and--  
Erra: We get the point. You're sick.  
Taysh: No I'm not, I'm perfectly healthy. The vet said so!  
Erra: Whatever. I'm going to go finish unpacking.  
Si'Tri: What a splendid idea. I wish to conclude the process unpacking my dictionaries.  
Taysh: OH NONO! I forgot Fluffy! He is going to die in my bag! I got out and left him in there alone! I'm coming Fluffy!  


*****

A Few hours later.....

*knock on door*  
*muffled* Obi: Padawans.  
Sansi: *opens door* Hi Obi Wan!  
Taysh: Boo! OBIEKINS!  
Erra: Hello Master.  
Si'Tri: Sorry I'm late Master, I was looking up an article on the holonet about the compulsive behavior of the Sarlacc. Did you know that...  
Obi: *clears throat* Um... could this wait till later?  
Si'Tri: Certainly! Sorry Master.  
Obi: I want to discuss something with you. Everyone come stand right here in the doorway of your room. What do you see?  
Si'Tri: I observe disorder, chaos and overall pandemonium on the left, in Taysh Ara's side of the room.  
Taysh: *annoyed* Hey!  
Si'Tri: To the right, Erra Si Roughe's side of the room, it's gloomy, dark and morbid.  
Erra: I like it that way, so get off it.  
Si'Tri: On this end of the room, I observe an overpowering sense of cheerfulness, wild abandon and an obsession with Anakin Skywalker.  
Sansi: He's sooooo cute!  
Si'Tri: And on MY side of the room I see a specific desire for knowledge and understanding.  
Obi: Well, uh...that was very insightful, but I wasn't driving at anything quite that complex, my young padawan.  
Si'Tri: Oh.  
Obi: Does anyone else see what I'm observing about this room? Erra?  
Erra: It's a mess.  
Obi: Yes. Very good. Now tell me, does this depict the true essence of a good Jedi?  
Si'Tri: Of course not Master! A Jedi must be clean, orderly, and organized at all times.  
Obi: I'll be back in a few hours, and when I return, I expect this room to be clean enough for the Jedi Council to inspect.  
*door closes*  
Sansi: I'm going to watch holovision, Fiends is coming on! I love that show!  
Taysh: But I wanna watch Holotubbies!  
Sansi: Holotubbies? *fading out *Your kidding me right?  
Taysh: *fading out* Time for holotubbies! Time for holotubbies! Time for holotubbies! Time for holotubbies!  
Erra: Si'Tri, you clean up the room, I'm going to polish my vibroblade collection.  
Si'Tri: I'M going to go study. Madame Jocosta Nu has given me access to all the new files in the Jedi Archives, and there's an article on Space Slugs I want to finish.  
*time goes by....*  
*knock on door*  
Sansi: *whispering* Uh oh! It's Obi Wan! Quick, like throw everything under your beds!  
*various sounds as we dash around the room trying to clean it up*  
*knock on door*  
*door opens*  
Obi Wan: Padawans?  
Erra: This isn't the room your looking for...  
Obi: Why haven't you cleaned anything up yet?  
Taysh: That room! Strong in the Dark Side it is!  
Obi: What do you have to say for yourself San Si Taneau?  
Sansi: There's a Sith under my bed!  
Obi: Si'Tri Meo?  
Si'Tri: I had to study for the trials...And you know master; cleanliness leads to compulsiveness. Compulsiveness leads to complete-retentiveness, complete-retentiveness leads to psychological disorder. Psychological disorder leads to the Dark Side...

*****

Obi: It's getting late Padawans, and we will begin training early tomorrow morning.  
Si'Tri: I heartily Agree Master Kenobi. We should all strive to get satisfactory amounts of sleep every night, so that we can perform our best each day.  
Obi: Goodnight Padawans.  
Taysh: But you have to tuck me in! And tell me a story!!  
Obi: Well uh... I'm not very good at telling stories Taysh.  
Sansi: Tell us about Anakin!  
Erra: No. Tell us about yourself Kenobi.  
Si'Tri: I can read to you from my dictionary.  
Erra: Yeah that'll put us all to sleep.  
Taysh: Can Macie Come tell us a storreeeee? Pleeeeeeeese?  
Obi: Uh.. I don't think so. He's uh probably in bed already... yes.  
Taysh: But it's only eight O' clock!  
Si'Tri: I should have been to bed an hour ago.  
Sansi: Like you go to sleep at _seven_?  
Si'Tri: Only on special occasions, normally I go to bed at six.  
Taysh: OBIKINS SHE'S SCARY!!! DON'T LET HER SCARE ME ANYMORE!  
Obi: Ok, everybody get in bed, and I'll tell you a very quick story.  
Taysh: Yayeeee!  
*running feet*   
*squeaking bed*  
Obi: Alright um. Once upon a time. There were four padawans.  
Taysh: Named Quiggily, Duffy and Dex.  
Si'Tri: That's only three.  
Taysh: The other one is me! DUH!  
Obi: Very well, continuing on. Quiggily, Duffy, Dex and Taysh...  
Taysh: NONO Taysh is first.  
Obi: Oh... Taysh, Quiggily, Duffy and Dex went for a walk. But they didn't tell their Jedi master where they were going.  
Taysh: *gasps* They're bad!  
Si'Tri: Not necessarily. They might have gone out to do something which would require them to keep their location undisclosed.  
San: Like what?  
Si'Tri: Well...maybe they were going to buy him a birthday present.  
Taysh: I like birthday presents!  
Obi: Then the padawans ran into an evil monster.  
Taysh: No no! Not a scary story!  
Sansi: Is this the part where Anakin saves them?  
Obi: No, Anakin was on a mission to Naboo to um... visit a friend.  
Sansi: How would that be a mission? I knew it! He's cheating on me! Master how could you let him do that to me? *cries*


End file.
